On our recent trip home to visit my husband’s family our Nephew who had just recently returned from the army decided it was time for him to be married. He spoke with his family and asked if they could help him to find a wife.
Arranged marriages are very common in Turkey and I know that these types of marriages get a lot of bad press. However the Arranged marriages you hear about in the press are about people who are forced to marry against their consent. This is where the difference lies, between arranged and forced marriages.
My family quickly got to work calling round all the family and looking for a suitable bride for our nephew. Each night due to us visiting, our family would gather and after a while they would take to their phones.
Eventually after many phone calls a girl was found. There was much excitement at the prospect of maybe finding a partner for our nephew. It was quickly arranged to go and visit the girl and her family. It would be several hundred mile drive across Turkey to meet her.
So we waited to hear from the elected family members who had travelled to meet the girl’s family to see what the verdict was.
Eventually we got a phone call and heard that she was lovely and that both her and our nephew liked each other and seemed to be getting along.
The next day we were informed that they would be engaged, it was a little quick as some people prefer to wait a little while and get to know each other a little more, but both our nephew and our new niece agreed they would be engaged before our family party had to leave.
We are now all looking forward to their wedding this summer and meeting our new niece and her family.
For some this may be a dreadful way of getting married but for some it’s a better way to find a life partner. After all marriage can not just be sustained on love alone, my husband and I are a love match. Where as my sister and brother in laws are all married through arranged marriages and they are all very happy with their respective partners. Through their marriages they have fallen in love, found respect for each other and friendship.
I know how long it took me to find my Husband and maybe family knows us better than we think and perhaps having an arranged marriage would have saved a lot of heartache in the long run. But would I be the person I am today without those experiences. Those are questions that can never be answered.
I am not sure I would go for an arranged marriage myself. But there is something to be said for them after all sometimes your family know you better than yourself!
What are your thoughts on arranged marriages, have you had experiences of them? I would love to hear your thoughts and stories on arranged marriages please comment below.
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